Papa Was A Rolling Stone

2011-04-10T15:43:00.000-07:00

“It was the third of September.

A day I’ll always remember.

‘Cause that was the day my Daddy died.”

The 1972 Temptations’ classic hit song, Papa Was A Rolling Stone, has always rang true to me...

The 3^rd of September was not the day my father died. My father, to this day, is most definitely alive. I am actually one of a few people in life, who are fortunate enough to have not one but two fathers: a biological and a step-in father. I use the term step-in because it truly takes a strong man to “step-in” and raise another mans child…especially if that other man is laying his hat elsewhere.

The 3rd of September is actually my birthday. Coincidently, I share my birthday with Charlie Sheen. I’m quite sure if you read this any time beyond the next 15 minutes from now his name will have less meaning.

For many reasons that can’t be shared now, not until after many people have moved on to the next world…I didn’t have a relationship with my biological father. I’m not judging my parents whatsoever. With age comes wisdom - and if have learned anything on this journey – it’s that shit happens. Thanks Forrest.

“I never got a chance to see him.

Never heard nothing but bad things about him.

Mama, I’m depending on you, to tell me the truth.”

As a child, curiosity about my biological pulled at me on a daily basis. Relatives and family friends would say things like, “He looks just like his daddy”, or “That sounds like something his father would say.” They didn’t have a clue that their comments added so much to the confusion and curiosity I had already.

My mother would say the exact same things, just with a different tone - there was anger behind her words. Hell, even though my vision was bad, I didn’t get glasses until high school because I looked too much like my biological with them on. I actually believe I may have taken an extra swat or two because of him. The punishments may have started for something I did do but sometimes I think they ended based on things he didn’t do. But even if that was the case, my mother still didn’t tell me bad things about him –instead, she didn’t tell me anything about him. And sometimes that’s just as bad…they always say if you don’t know your history then you are doomed to repeat it.

“And, Mama, bad talk going round town

saying papa had three outside children and another wife.

And that aint right.”

I’m the oldest of 3 children on my biological’s side, and we all have different mothers. We are all so fortunate to have such strong women as our mothers. It’s very important to have a strong mother, especially for males. People have to remember how important a good woman is… and know how to recognize one when you see one. That’s especially important when it’s time to start a family of your own.

30-some years later and I have a daughter of my own. For reasons that, once again can’t be shared until some people have moved onto another world, I am divorced, and trying very hard to not to be a “Jack-of-all-Trades”. It’s an internal-battle that continues, like alcoholism or any other disease, and is passed from one generation to the next. I stand on a stage doing my “store front preaching” traveling from city to city…just rolling along.

After the first opportunity I had to meet my biological father, there were certain things really stood out to me - how much I looked and sounded like that man, a man that I had not had a relationship with or been around for 15+ years. We had the same mannerisms, the same smile, and we even wore the same type of hats…It made me wonder where his hat had been and where mine would be someday.

“Papa was a rolling Stone.

Wherever he laid his hat was his home.

(And when he died) All he left us was ALONE.”

Just so you know…

Here is a little known fact. The Temptations were not the first group to sing this song. The song was originally released in 1971 by a group called “The Undisputed Truth.” It never made it passed #63 on the charts. Then in 1972 the producer of the song re-released it with the Temptations. It was a #1 hit and won 3 Grammys. The words of the song were never changed, just the people who sang the song changed. I guess history doesn’t always have to repeat itself.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION

2011-04-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I landed an opportunity to be in my first film. My scenes are going to be shot in a few weeks. I'm starting to get really excited and I'm ready take my first step into a new side of this business. First and foremost I am a stand-up comedian. I like writing, producing, and starring in my own show on stage every weekend. Who I am on stage is very close to my personality off stage, so my shows require no acting skills on my behalf (for the most part).

But, at the same time, the idea of acting and essentially pretending to be some one else really appeals to me. I've always been very good at pretending.

It all started in 5th grade for me. After spending my entire childhood in public schools in Kansas City, MO., my mother transferred me to a private Lutheran school. It was meant to "give me a better education." But, to this day, my biological father insists, "she was trying to make it more difficult for him to find me." Either way the decision my mother made to put me into a new school-system was a decision that has impacted my life in many different ways.

I had to take an initial "placement test", which they told me was to make sure I was placed in the right grade. And that's when I started pretending...I walked into that test and pretended I was stupid. I failed the test so badly, the school told my mother that I might require some special education classes. They also told her there was no way they could even consider allowing me attend the school because of the terrible test scores. But no worries, my mother assured the school that if they gave me a second chance to take the placement test that I would certainly do much better. She beat the shit out of me that night. With every swing of my step-in-father's belt she reminded me how I would not embarrass her the second time around...

I walked into that test for the second time, and I pretended my ass didn't hurt. Needless to say, I ended up scoring one of the highest scores recorded at the school at the time. I got into the school, and I was one of a handful of black students at a predominately white school. It was the 80's, and things were getting better as far a race was concerned but I was still very aware of "the evils of the white man", according to some of my relatives. I pretended to understand.

After about three weeks of classes at my new school, my mother got a phone call from Mr. Dickerson, the 4th grade teacher and the school's basketball coach. He was calling to see if I was interested in playing on the team. This guy had never seen me outside of school, let alone play any sport. He really didn't even know if I was capable of chewing gum and walking at the same time. "Something" about me must just have screamed basketball player to him... and I knew what that something was. My militant nature at the time wouldn't allow me to play for such a prejudice person, but instead of saying that to him (or my mother) I pretended I didn't want to play.

These are just a few moments of "pretending" that started me on a path that will lead me acting on camera soon.

The audition process is something I truly dislike. I get nervous when I feel like I'm not in control of a situation. Auditions are completely out of the artist control. I have done several for commercials and I have felt pretty corny, every time. The last audition I did was for a Quiznos commercial. I remember sitting there, really trying to convince the whole room that I was in love with this nasty bacon-ranch sandwich. I don't eat pork.

It's just all a part of the game. The audition for the movie was nothing like the commercial auditions. It was extremely laid back. The audition was at the house of one of the writers. I walked in, and it was just me, and three other people: the two writers and the director. I have a personal relationship with one of the writers and have known him for quite a while now. Having him at the audition, me knowing that he has seen my stand-up and respects what I do onstage, made it more comfortable than I imagined. But still it didn't remove all of my nerves. After a few minutes of shooting the shit, we got into the audition. The director took a small scene and told me to start going through the lines, so I started pretending. I pretended I wasn't nervous. I pretended I was a seasoned actor. And then, my pretending really payed off. I pretended to be Anton, my audition character (a former football player who is now in banking). After getting some feedback and direction from the director, I relaxed and just enjoyed myself. At the end of it all, I was offered the part... I pretended to be cool.

I walked out of the audition, and as soon as I got in my car...I called my mother and thanked her for the ass-whoopins.

Just so you know...

Papa Was A Rolling Stone

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION